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So, say a man takes you to see a show, and it turns out to be a real downer.

Instead of talking about the finer points of the performance, tell him how happy it made you that he made plans with you, and how great it feels simply to spend time with him.

Why is reaching out and talking about shame so important for overcoming it? I think there is still some Barbie and John Wayne stuff lingering in all of us.

The story I tell that gets the biggest reaction from the guys in my audiences is when a man approached me after a lecture I gave on shame to say, "My wife and daughters…they'd rather see me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall off.

As he did that, he asked; ‘do you want me to help you take it off?? ’I noticed a gut reaction came up from a feeling of adrenaline when he walked off laughing…(like, he laughed??

roarrrr) a visual reaction played in front of my eyes for a milisecond, of me turning to him and sarcastically saying; ‘oh is it funny, is it?

They hear us asking for their vulnerability, but are also very aware that we may act scared or resentful when they show their vulnerable side. Join my private Facebook Community for FREE It doesn’t matter how many relationships books or blogs you read, the underlying theme is always tied closely to your confidence.If you don’t feel like a completely confident person, and trust me no one does, there are other ways to connect with the people that you’re dating.The most under mentioned element of confidence that I want you to consider improving upon is vulnerability.[Updated] *I held a webinar recently where an attendee asked me about being vulnerable and if it works in dating.

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The book, The Joy of Cybersex, argued that the World Wide Web was a godsend for this reason. Say: ‘Sure, honey, but I’d actually rather be a rocket scientist, okay? Think about it for a few minutes, fix yourself a drink, and succumb to the unknown.

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